United Methodist Men Embrace Fresh Ideas to Engage the Next Generation: From 'Cigars and Scriptures' to Authentic Discipleship.

Rev. Sterling Eaton, Director, Center for Men's Ministries

Good morning, everyone. I want to begin by expressing my gratitude to Rev. Dr. Marvin Wamble for his inspiring presentation. Your words are both encouraging and affirming because they align with the direction we, the General Commission on United Methodist Men, are taking in men's ministry.

If we take a look around this room, it's clear—I'm probably the second youngest here, and maybe on this call too, judging by the brother with the still-black beard. But here's the real question: Are we reaching the next generation? In your own church’s men's ministry, how many men under 50 are involved? If the answer is none, we’re not growing; we’re just maintaining. And if we’re only maintaining, men’s ministry might not outlast us. That's why we are intentionally focusing on reaching those not yet in the room, establishing fresh ideas and new visions to connect with younger men.

Too often, we unintentionally expect young men to become like us before they feel like they belong. We think they need to dress, pray, and act just like us to fit in. But God’s approach is different. In His kingdom, they already belong because they are made in His image—not in ours. Our role is to walk alongside them, helping them realize who God wants them to be, not who we think they should be. When young people express new ideas for ministry, our response shouldn't be, "I don't know if that's going to work," but rather, "Wow, I never thought of it like that. Let's see what God might do through this."

Our vision for United Methodist Men is simple: every man can become a disciple of Jesus Christ, getting to know, meet, and serve Him authentically. Authentic discipleship is not just a title; it's an action—a visible, living relationship with Jesus. This means reaching the marginalized, the overlooked, and those who feel they have nothing to offer. When we ask, "Do you have a relationship with Jesus?" we must be open to answers that might challenge us.

I once had a young man ask, "Can I have a relationship with Jesus even if I smoke pot?" My answer was yes. He rephrased, "I smoke marijuana—can I still have a relationship with Jesus?" I told him, "It doesn't matter what your struggles are—you can always have a relationship with Jesus." He was surprised because he had been told he needed to "clean up his act" first. I used the analogy: "Do you wash up to take a shower, or do you take a shower to wash up?" Just as we come to Jesus as we are, He will guide us in what needs to change—not through a rigid playbook, but by walking with us, page by page, showing us how to grow closer to Him.

When planning events to reach young people, we need young voices in the room. Too often, we form committees full of people our own age, then wonder why we aren't connecting with the younger generation. We must invite them in, listen openly, and let them share their ideas candidly—even if their approach is different from ours.

I’ll give you an example: At a men’s gathering at Duke Divinity, someone proposed a “Cigars and Scriptures” night. It was outside, with fire pits and a fish fry, creating a relaxed, welcoming environment. The concept might not fit every church setting, but it worked because it reached men where they were, both physically and spiritually.

The key is to think outside the box, to be open to new ideas, and to remember that ministry is about them—not us. If we can embrace this mindset, we can not only sustain but truly grow men’s ministry for generations to come.

Editor's Note: Rev. Sterling Eaton was one of four guest speakers at the 2024 United Methodist Men (UMM) Gathering for the Baltimore-Washington Conference, held at the BWC Center in Fulton, MD, on October 19, 2024. Click here to view the printed program. The event's theme, "Lifting Jesus: I will bring all men unto me" (John 12:32), highlighted a powerful vision for Men’s Ministries. The Baltimore-Washington Conference UMM expressed deep gratitude to Rev. Eaton for generously sharing his time and gifts to reignite men’s ministries in the region. The UMM Foundation's grants to the General Commission on United Methodist Men (GCUMM) made it possible for such talented leaders to travel to the conference at no cost, enhancing the impact of this inspiring event.